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[Articles Home]  [Add Article]  

The Next Big Ham Things

Glenn C. Peck (KE5GK) on January 22, 2017
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The Next Big Ham Things

I have long since drawn my last paycheck as director of marketing for a local telephone interconnect company. Hopefully, I few creative sparks remain. Here are some ideas for the next big ham things:

1. Ham Fitness Counter:

Many photos in QST, on the Internet and other ham informational sources; plus personal observations at any ham activity, gives credence to the position that some hams have a BMI higher than the cost of many used pieces of ham gear! Enter the Ham Fitness Counter (HFC). Fashioned after the Fit Bit ™, but with a twist.
The HFC will have an algorithm that gives a display that is ham centric.
The HFC will be connected, via Bluetooth, to a ham’s smart phone.
Levels of activity will be designated Technician, General, Advanced, & Extra Class. A ham rig on the phone will reflect the daily activity as either selectable SWR, Power (QRO or QRP), or S-Meter.
Daily achievements will be cumulative and reflected in the awards, WAS, WAZ, DXCC, Country Honor Roll, etc.

To help launch this effort, ham gear manufacturers would pay to have their gear on the smart phone display. ARRL would be enlisted to help turn the bright young hams into HFC designers.

If I were younger, I would start on this right after tonight’s net.

2. “You Bet Your License” Network Ham TV Quiz Show:

With questions ranging in difficulty from Novice (I am old) to Extra Class, the questions would increase in difficulty and the ham contestant could take prizes already won, or go double-or-nothing to the next level.
The top two hams for the show would go into the “QRM Round.”

Contestants would be in separate soundproof booths, with headsets, to listen to a simulated DX SSB QSO. The audience and viewers would hear what the hams were hearing. The aim is to copy as many call signs in two minutes. As time passes, QRM and QSB would be introduced. Also, in the background would be a wife yelling to come to supper and kids arguing over the TV remote. The final noise would be an angry neighbor pounding on the door.

The loser would surrender a copy of his ham ticket to Men In Black attire who would shred the license. (A pre-show agreement, signed by all contestants, that the loser of the QRM round would stay off the air for a year.)
The winner receives a 30-day all expenses paid ham vacation to a rare, beach front, exotic island. The three stories QTH has a ham shack with high dollar gear with separate positions for each band and a one-time special call sign that awaits the winner. The dream vacation features a 120-foot tower holding six over six element beams. Full wave wire antennas are on the property for each 160-10 meter bands.

3. A Coloring Book for Hams:

Pages to be colored include the mailman delivering the first QSL card. Another, hams from the local club erecting a tower with an ice chest with 807s (young hams ask an old timer about 807s) printed on the side. One club ham says to ham standing close by, “Guywires? We don’t need no stinkin’guywires!” What about an angry neighbor watching TV with the telltale herringbone picture and a balloon over his head with ”Edith, get me that %*#^)&^ diagonal wire cutter!” Maybe this would be appropriate; an XYL standing in the doorway to the shack and holding a rolling pin with a balloon saying, “That’s it! I’ve told you and told you no more around-the-clock ham contests!” This might work -- sparks flying from a large amplifier and a pegged SWR meter.
What about an FCC monitoring van in the driveway and a large tower in the background with a balloon over the van that says, “ I think we have finally caught that ex-CB’er this time!” Another, a ham, asking a flea market ham, “Are you sure this rig was only struck by lightning twice?” The possibilities are endless...

KE5GK
Shawnee, OK

Member Comments:
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The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K9MHZ on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Okee doke.
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K0FL on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Amazing what this site publishes as articles
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KK5JY on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
This article might have been a better fit for 75m?
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by WD9IDV on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
WTF!
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KB2DHG on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
REALLY?
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by ONAIR on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
HUH?????
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by WB8VLC on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Initially I thought this was written by KC8KTN
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KF4HR on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
I hope you can get your job back.
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K6AER on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Is it April yet?
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by N1KDO on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Huh? It's months from April 1.
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by W4KVW on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
WOW,something as boring as each issue of QST but with 73 less pages of advertising.

Clayton
W4KVW
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KE4XJ on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
807's. For the younger hams ( I am 68) when I was a teenager we used to call 807's "beer cans".
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K6CRC on January 22, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Ham and fitness in same sentence?
BMI equal the DXCC count for most.
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K9MHZ on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
LOL!
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KJ4DGE on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Well if we can't laugh with him lets see those with (WTF and huh?) get off their obese backside and write an article themselves! creativity is not just rolling your own coils!

 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K9MHZ on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
"creativity is not just rolling your own coils!"

Seriously OM.....these last two articles are very strange.
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K0CBA on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!

Glad I took time to read the replies because I was starting to think it was me.



 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by W4KVW on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
QUOTE:K9MHZ on January 23, 2017
"creativity is not just rolling your own coils!"

Seriously OM.....these last two articles are very strange.

But if for excitement in your life like some who commented above you pet sit & do Echolink what do you expect? The last two articles & many others have been far more than strange & made me wonder what wonder drugs that some are taking? LOL {:>)
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by N9AOP on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
They legalized reefers in some states. Perhaps this is the result.
Art
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by W8QZ on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
I like the 'quiz show' idea - although I doubt how well a general audience would like it. That might be a great activity for Xenia (f.k.a. Dayton), though.
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K4RKY on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
The BMI can only be measured with FISTS.
Oh, wait.....never mind. We can't un see this can we?
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K2JVI on January 23, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Doo-doo-DOO-doo Doo-doo-DOO-Doo dOO-DOO-doo-dOO....
Your traveling thru a dimension of bizarre sounds,of strange mmenonics starting with Q. Where strange stories and legends intermingle--WATCH OUT THAT NEXT IRLP REFLECTOR MEANS YOU ARE IN---THE EHAM ZONE!!!
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KJ4DGE on January 24, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Now That's what I'm talking about :>)

Reefers legal on some states? What time machine from 1932 did you just step off of?
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KW1K on January 24, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Slow day at the web page?
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KJ4DGE on January 24, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Never a slow day and as far as web pages go I visit here more often than my own. It stands on reason it works for me (my web pages) as I have two sits lined up for February, maybe you never had to take care of other kids as a father but pet sitting is like that, a bigger responsibility as they are someones family. Echolink is a HAM radio "tool" not a replacement for OTA contacts, those radio ops that are so worried about the state of the hobby should try it sometime. Maybe learn how a net is the same on EL as on the air. Enough soapbox, I have to go feed the other other squirrels out back....:)
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KG4RUL on January 24, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
I think I will submit an article on how to McGyver a killowatt HF rig from a tin can and two rubber bands.
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by W4KVW on January 24, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Nets on Echolink or any other mode are a waste of good time.Besides even JESUS knows that NETS are for FISH. LOL
 
Hmmm... Reply
by VE3CUI on January 24, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Lemme guess: with Donald Trump as president (as if the OTHER option was any sort of an alternative choice for Americans), ANYTHING goes anymore in keeping with the spirit of these times…

Right? :o)
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KJ4DGE on January 24, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
I'll read it!
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by WZ7U on January 25, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
I knew it wasn't KTN because there were no uses of WOW!
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by W0CBF on January 25, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Well this was 10 minutes of my life that I will never get back! 73's
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by W1XYZ on January 25, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
This parody is spot on, and the fact that so many fuddyduddys don't get it and think it is "weird" points to the center of the problem.

The author failed to mention personal hygiene.
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K6UJ on January 25, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
I agree with W1XYZ. Great stuff ! It becomes obvious when reading the responses that most of them just don't get it. It seems that the articles get similar responses whether they are meant to be humorous or a technical article. In both cases it is beyond their understanding.
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K9MHZ on January 25, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Guys, it's not that hard to "get it." The rub is that it's just not funny, that's all. Whatever.
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by STRAIGHTKEY on January 25, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Editorial discretion. Google it, Eham "editors".
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by WX4SNO on January 26, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
I for one enjoyed it! Some of the comments were down right hilarious...referencing the Twilight Zone, reefers, and just stepping off a time machine from the 1930's. Ha! I thought the "reefers" comment was referring to refrigerators which is why I laughed at the comment about stepping off a time machine from 1932 since that's when Freon helped boom the 'refer' market. Ahh...rambling on like an OM...but the comments were just as good as the article!!! :-D
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by AF5CC on January 26, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
So what is the current big thing?
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KB2HSH on January 26, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Yet more blithering nonsense. I pity your family.
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KB2HSH on January 26, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
The ONLY thing I can think of, since I lived in Texas once upon a time, is that he's from OK. Birds fly upside-down over OK because there's nothing worth shitting on in Oklahoma.

Including this catbox liner of a "story".

KB2HSH
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by WB8ROL on January 26, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
What was the time period between your first and last paycheck as director of marketing? Just curious ...
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by AF5CC on January 28, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
"The ONLY thing I can think of, since I lived in Texas once upon a time, is that he's from OK"

The southern most row of counties in Oklahoma is going to succeed and join the state of Texas. It will raise the average IQ of both states.
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by KC1GCG on January 28, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
With the birth of art came the inevitable afterbirth.....the critic.......
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by N9AOP on January 29, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Reefers--some truck drivers using davemade amps pull them however most folks just smoke them. If they are not legal in your state, just wait and they will be.
Art
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K9MHZ on January 30, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Yep, a very sick society indeed.
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K9CTB on February 1, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
4. Make sure your callsign is emblazoned on your green vest in very large block letters or risk being mistaken for a big box store cart retriever.

73,
K9CTB
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by K9MHZ on February 2, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Ha, that's ^^^^ good comedy!
 
The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by W0LD on February 4, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
What a marketing mind! Now I suppose a new web site will spring up for trading equipment entitled "Ham Hocks!"
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by AE9C on February 4, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
Ha! Thats a GOOD ONE!!LOL***
 
RE: The Next Big Ham Things Reply
by AF8JC on February 15, 2017 Mail this to a friend!
I found it most amusing. Generally, the funniest things are those parodies with an element of truth to them. That's why the Jeff Foxworthy stuff is so humorous. He just takes some slightly eccentric behaviors and exaggerates it. We all know someone who "almost" fits one of Jeff's stories.
 
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