It's an extremely quiet, cold night here in the mountains of San Diego County. I step out on the back steps in the dark for a moment to savor the solitude. The sky is clear for the first time in about a week and the moon is a little more than half full and lighting the ground so that there are shadows and a feeling of strangeness. I cannot hear a sound, not the rustle of a breeze, an insect, a dog barking, nothing. I should be at my HF station participating in the airwaves, and I probably will later, but for now I have to contemplate an odd bit of emotion, or what you might just call a feeling, and write it down for you to judge.

The first time I saw her she was walking past the tables on her way to a table near the back of the Chinese restaurant. She was short, with dark hair, not beautiful, but pleasing to look at, and a friendly face and manner. She didn't see me, but she caught my eye immediately. There was something about her that produced in me a sense of connection a kinship, and a certainty that we had something in common. She came to my table to take an order and I believe she saw the same in me or maybe saw in my eyes something that told her what I saw in her. There was a warm sense of bonding, not love, not sexual in any way, just -- a connection.

I have been to that Chinese restaurant many times since then and if she is there the connection is renewed. Today when I went there, we spoke only one word, "Hi" as she walked past my table, but as she passed she tapped the table and, in doing so, touched my soul. We don't need long conversations or to do things together, it is a friendship at a distance, platonic and respectful. You may be thinking I am making too much of this, but I swear it is a strong connection and maybe, if I have described it well enough, you may recognize having felt this kind of thing yourself. It is instantaneous and on first sight.

In the same strip mall as the Chinese restaurant is a well-known Ham store. Being a newcomer to Ham Radio I spend time in there browsing but always making sure I buy something even if it is just a magazine. It is a place of awe. I don't like to just buy my gear and I have done a lot of hands on type electronic work but seeing the new radios, antennas, and oooooh the beautiful chrome and gold keys, it just makes me shake.

On one of my trips to the Ham store it happened. I was walking around the stands of ARRL publications toward the back of the store when my eye was drawn to a handheld in the display case that I hadn't seen before. It was well proportioned, small but with a sturdy look, a very well designed layout of keys and display, with a chrome joy stick and concentric knobs. I asked to see it and when I held it in my hand it was like it belonged there. There was an immediate sense of connection, of knowing that we would be friends for a long time. I bought it and took it home with me. I read the users manual several times and became familiar with all the intricacies of its operation. I learned how to program repeater frequencies, splits, tones, and how to save them to memory, all the most obscure facts and quirks. I have been working with this handheld for some time now and it has become as familiar as my hand, feels like part of my hand. I know what I can do with it and where I cannot push it to do what is impossible for it.

Now, I propose to you that these two feelings of connection are the same. I realized this when she tapped the table as she passed. I recognized the feeling! It was that warm fuzzy feeling of familiarity and that immediate first sight connection. What a wonderful thing to have that feeling, and it is especially unusual to have it for an inanimate object. Is this the part of the Ham experience that keeps us entranced with equipment? I believe that, for me, it is.

There is still no sound outside on the back steps and the moon is lower in the West, the stars are bright and I feel good to have told you this. I am going to turn on the HF and see if I can make a connection.

Respectfully from one operator to another,

Don AE6AT