Wow. Just... Wow. You have packed a great deal of humor into very few words
Pretty much the same could be achieved by setting the tracker to transmit whenever acceleration is detected (that's a change in velocity, or in direction).
He says to the Tech writer / Technical trainer at a DoD high explosives research facility who teaches people how accelerometers and other transducers work. I have installed about 20,000 accelerometers in my career. transmitting on a change in velocity or direction in a car that travels 45 MPH on dirt roads - about every 6 seconds.
And you need not to touch your car's electrical system.
Dude, it's a Baja Bug
is modified. 3 - 2 meter radios, a CB, an HF rig, inverter, stereo, 6 antennas, there are about 20 yards of extra wiring in there now.
you can remove or lever up one leg of the internal one and install a remote led outside.
and it will look like a baboons backside. the guy who has cases made up commercially and silkscreened in batches of 1000 generally makes it look better than the guy who cuts up a Radio Shack PCB with a Dremel and mounts it with foam double sided tape.