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Author Topic: Why men like W6WBJ don't want women on the air..  (Read 1167 times)
KI4CFS
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« on: August 02, 2006, 06:30:08 AM »

Why men like W6WBJ don't want women on the air..and what we should do about this?

When someone keeps throwing things out in areas that are NOT related to the topic it is ofen that they need a space to talk. sooo W6WBJ .. now you have your own place to vent.. and anyone who wants to vent with you can..

its all yours W6WBJ.. lets here it all here!

W6WBJ.. I am all ears..
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KI4CFS
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« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2006, 06:54:21 AM »

I realize thinking about your post in my other discussion that with less places for men to actually get together with other men and relate how you would be angry about women in Ham radio.

I have to tell you I think their is value in men and women getting together in mixed gender activities but also women only getting together with women and yes, men only getting together with men.

This is for when I get together with healthy mature guys and just do guy things I bring a better man home to my wife.

I am sure their are hams that felt a loss when women came into the hobbies as their are men who thought it was wonderful to have the variety. I know in my area many of the women are some of the hardest working in the emergency services.. I appreciate that for I don't have the time to do all that they do and know the value of the position.

So W6WBJ.. and others lets get the 'unsaid' out in the open to be said..

KI4CFS
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KC0SHZ
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« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2006, 08:01:31 AM »

I have no problem with women getting into Ham radio, and work with several women who are involved in the hobby and my wife keeps threatening to do so.

The idea that there is value in men-only activities is valid.  The need for men to socialize separate from women is acute at all ages.  We can't teach our boys what it really takes to be a successful man if we are constantly having to mix genders and "do girl stuff".  

Men (and women) live an arc of a life, and successfully transitioning from one step of the arc to the next requires guidance and knowledge you get from people who are further up the arc.  These arcs are different for men and women, so the information needed by one doesn't necessarily apply to the other.

If Ham radio serves that need for some men, OK.  That said, it is a hobby open for all.  Need men-only activities, start a men's net, or get involved with some of the public service events where mostly men participate.

Same goes for the women.  If this hobby helps you connect to other women, OK.  If you see this as of primary importance, then start a women's net or do PS actvities that more women go out for.

Bottom line is that I do this hobby for fun and to serve my community.  If I am talking with a woman on the radio and achieving these goals, I am achieving these goals.  If I am talking to a man and not having fun or serving my community, then even though I am talking to another man, I am not achieving my goals.

So from this op's perspective, I am up for any QSO.
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N8UZE
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« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2006, 09:37:03 AM »

All my husband has to say to me is that the guys want to get together for some "guy time".  Sometimes the guys go hunting, sometimes go on a radio outing, sometimes other activities.

In Elemering other women, sometimes I'll invite them over to work a contest with me and shoo my husband off so we can have some "girl time".  He'll then go work it with "the guys".

Other times my husband and I contest together, just the two of us.

However club meetings are for all as is Field Day.
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W6WBJ
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« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2006, 12:32:16 PM »

Hey, Martin, I really like the way you reply to your own posts!  That is a really cool idea!  But why stop there?  Why don't you reply to your replies?

But really, in all candor, I think you should learn the difference between "their" and "there".

73 and good luck in the contest.

Billy the Bill Collector, W6WBJ
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AC7DX
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« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2006, 01:00:34 PM »

people like that are wusses anyway and may be insecure?
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KI4CFS
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« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2006, 02:43:54 PM »

It's goal was to get conversation going.. and it worked. .. was it a 'trick' Yes.. I admite it.. and the conversation is on...

Martin Brossman
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KI4CFS
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« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2006, 03:04:31 PM »

A whole section just for you  W6WBJ and you have nothing to say?? Afraid to step in the light? I know you have an opinion.. take the lead.. here it is big guy!

The stage was set up just for you, can you handle it?

Or must you react to some other post? That would be kind of a feminine approach wouldn’t you say? Not being direct in a section set up just for you?

KI4CFS


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KI4CFS
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« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2006, 04:09:54 PM »

Wow.. well said.. KC0SHZ

I also agree that men need places to just be with other men, as do women, and that we have thrown the baby out with the bath water in our society. But at the same time we all benefit from diversity in other situations of both culture, race and sex. A subtle distinction that W6WBJ does not quite seem to get.

If he could, he would realize that his efforts does not help men and actually proves women who hate men that they are right.

You know I have 12 men in my life that are like brothers and it gives me a personal strength to be true to myself. It also supports me to be my wife’s lover and husband.. I would not be with my wife if she did not get my mission and purpose in life. I was content being alone. She also is a good woman that does not want a ‘placating husband’. In fact healthy women want the same.. the type of healthy women who would see W6WBJ as a wounded man with unresolved anger and just stay away from.  So of course to his perspective ‘there are no women like that’.

I find another wonderful quality of ham radio among men is that since we can not ‘just talk business’ that it forces us to speak about our lives, a realness can occur. If you train your ears you can hear men caring about other men. The presence of women does not take away from this. Actually the women I know at some level seem to appreciate it. I have also met the ham operator that hides in ham radio in stead of being a effective father, leader or partner. This just using ham radio as a addiction to avoid life, like drinking or smoking. He usually complains about how his wife ‘ruined the kids’ or never likes what he does take no responsibility for being a father or leader in his own life.

The room for men to connect that W6WBJ thinks is lost with women in ham radio is not lost for me. But his wound and anger blinds him to see it.

It really is sad for what you experience and I of having both is not available to W6WBJ until he lets go of his had and need to “BE RIGHT”

Well said KC0SHZ thanks for your time.

KI4CFS

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KI4CFS
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« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2006, 05:17:37 PM »

N9UZE.. thanks for speaking up. You are a great example of a mature women that sees value for your husband to get together with other ham's, you getting together with women ham's and then all getting together. It adds richness to life. Sadly W6WBJ does not quite see this as possible and I hope he will.

N9UZE would you add something to my discussion
http://www.eham.net/forums/Misc/4377
Advice to women interested in ham radio?

I still am planning on writing an article on it even if W6WBJ feels that helping women in any way is abusing myself and other men.

I have to say I have experience the opposite from group that view helping men in any way will take something away from Women. Very sad state.

Thanks for posting, with bad grammar, typos, poor spelling and all.
KI4CFS
 
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THERAGE
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« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2006, 09:24:40 PM »

Hmmmm

After seeing his picture on QRZ, I think I can see why W6WBJ is not quite the "ladies man".

-----------------------------------------------------
Quote from W6WBJ:
RE: Advice to women interested in Ham radio...  Reply  
by W6WBJ on August 1, 2006  Mail this to a friend!  
I don't have a wife any longer, and am I ever glad!

-----------------------------------------------------

I bet she's very glad too. What a dope!!!

 
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THERAGE
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« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2006, 09:45:05 PM »

Oh... BTW, Billy (from one old wrench head to another) I prefer the old flat-head V-8's.

Toodles Smiley  
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KI4CFS
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« Reply #12 on: August 03, 2006, 05:25:10 AM »

 

W6WBJ to me represents a man that has wounds form his marriage that he will not address or maybe due to some child hood abuse can not afford to look at them for they are so scary. This can cripple a man emotionally so they can not quite relate well with people. He can make attacks at my post but now that he has a place to say his piece has a challenge to communicate.

He has just enough personal success in life that it may keep him from addressing these issues. It is quite unfortunate for I am sure he is very smart and could actually contribute a lot of constructive stuff if he could just address this. W6WBJ the more I read about you in other postings the sadder I am for your situation and I want to apologize if any of this truly offends you. 1st you just pissed me off, then when I realize how you can not seem to grasp the situation you put yourself in I had compassion for you. I am glad that you have the cars as friends for they will treat you well and I mean that. Of course this is just a person impression and really could be way off if I met you. It leads to a good further discussion.

Another question that would be useful to discuss is how do men allow women to abuse them or loose respect for them? Of course this not a direct ham topic but this is the ¡¥other¡¦ section.

For me in the past what I did which, was close to what W6WBJ said, and that was by making them my ¡¥big adventure¡¦ in life instead of being clear what I wanted out of life, going for that and then seeing if a partner wants to join me on the journey. If she tries to challenge that, there is no offense required just not loose site of what I am about for if I do I (and she) will loose respect for myself.

Many of us men either numb ourselves with addictions or meaningless work or ¡¥do everything to please our partner¡¦ at our own expense. This does now work. But due to few really healthy male role models of anything else this seem to be the only option. Another option (and NOT the only way) is to get clear (as a man) what you truly want your life to be about, what makes your own life great, what makes you passionate about life and focus on doing that. It may be living ¡¥Gods word¡¦, it may be have hobbies that you just love like ham radio, it might be some big social change, or it maybe be some combination of several things. For me it is helping people (that want it) get more meaning out of their life and fulfillment. THEN after this is clear you are in a better place to invite a partner to be part of your life. If this is not solid then many men will start compromising who they are until the relationship is destroyed. The problem with W6WBJ is former wife being the source of all the problems (W6WBJ if hope you don¡¦t mine me using my image of you for one more example) is that he is given all his power over to her, it seems he still is. If you ralized that ¡¥wow I was a real doormat in that relationship, I seemed to pick a women who also like to wipe her feed a lot, and I need to learn how to not give myself away, be alone, or I will repeat that in another relationship. In my own first marriage I chose a women that made me feel better about myself that could write with out errors ƒº . This was not a mature/adult approach. Then I spend all my free time ¡¥trying to make my relationship work¡¦ with out making sure the relationship with me was clear. This help destroy that relationship and almost me.

You see W6WBJ I have to say I actually have been quite like you in the past. It was a angry lonely place. I wish you well and hope something positive and helpful gets in to you not just more evidence to keep you stuck.

KI4CFS
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AB2MH
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« Reply #13 on: August 03, 2006, 06:27:52 AM »

I agree with having "guys only" time for certain things, but that does not mean that you have to exclude women from the hobby entirely.  

A few weeks ago, my wife and I went to Vegas to hang out with a large group of friends.  We had a guys night out and they had a girls night out.  The rest of the activities we did together.  That worked out nicely.  I can't see why ham radio can't be the same way.

There is also no part of the FCC rules that say "men only."  

And to be quite honest, there's too much "guys only" time in ham radio.  Whatever little time we get to spend with the ladies in the hobby shouldn't be frowned upon.  There will be plenty of "guys only" time.
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KI4CFS
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« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2006, 04:23:28 PM »

diversity makes life rich!

KI4CFS
Martin Brossman
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