Wouldn't it be easier to just get a new wife?

All kidding aside, re-read your city's zoning ordinance carefully. I know many municipalities prohibit antennas in the front yard, but some have exemptions for "wires of a minimum gauge" (ie: dipoles, G5RV, etc...) because they are barely visible.
Another option might be a flagpole antenna for your front yard? If you have the room for radials I don't see why it wouldn't work, unless your city bans flag poles in your front yard.
73 de WT3O