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Author Topic: Doing the "Right Thing" .... is it really that hard?  (Read 14141 times)
W7ARX
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« on: July 17, 2014, 06:10:34 AM »


I bit of a rant, but an observation from recent experiences off a couple of swap boards.

I am perplexed,  and yet, not shocked with some individuals in this hobby, showing a lack of integrity and/or character these days.  I encountered two such experiences in the past year that just gets me shaking my head.  For me, doing the “right” thing is easy and obvious.

Experience one.

Some time ago, I parted with my brand new TS-590 to N5IZ.  He gets the radio and tells me what a great radio it is after about a week or so in his possession.  I concurred.  I had made contacts up to and including the day I boxed it and sent it to him, ahead of actually receiving his funds because he lamented so much about being good for the funds, a Christian, etc.  Well, me too, but I have yet to ask a seller to send me something ahead of receiving my payment.  However, on occasion,   I may trust folks in a situation and take the risk (likely no more however).
 
After he has the radio over a few weeks,  he starts on this “it’s not working right” but being cryptic about what isn’t “working right”.  Then the insults and accusations start.  Before I could even offer any assistance of any kind, he sends it off to a repair facility unauthorized by me, one unfamiliar with this new product.  They send it back unserviceable, not really finding anything wrong with the unit.     At that point, I should have told him to live with it.  I figured in the back of my mind that this individual either doesn’t know how to properly use modern equipment, can’t read a manual, too lazy to read up on the operating characteristics of this new design, or else damaged it in some way, cranking the knobs to the far right being the ALC works differently on this radio then most others.

He gets it back unserviced, as his the “repair facility” of choice couldn’t determine what was “wrong” with the unit.  I told him to send it to the OEM.  To make a long story short, they concurred he had actually cranked most everything to the right (they didn’t provide any specific wording/details to me since it wasn’t my radio any longer), and I never received an honest, truthful, factual answer form IZ either.  The honest thing would have been to tell me that he isn’t sure what may be wrong, would I help in splitting the cost of having it checked into.    Against my better judgement, I elected to help him out, since there is always the remote chance something may have come loose in transit, so I went and sent this jerk $200 just to cover everything when in honesty, I should have walked away.  I always try to do the right thing, even when my gut tells me this guy is ripping me off.  To this day, he was never forthright in disclosing anything after the radio  or in reimbursing me half of the funds since any “damage or misalignment” was caused by him.  Live and learn lesson number one.

In the second instance, I traded my like new radio to KC2VXM for his radio. Upon receiving it and checking it out before actually integrating it into the shack, I found that one band didn’t work properly. Upon inspection, I found burned components on the control board.  I told him of it, and basically got a “gee”.  I don’t doubt that perhaps he didn’t know it was damaged/defective prior to shipment, but as the one sending the radio and previously owning it, doesn’t preclude ones self of having responsibility for the proper operation.  If the roles were reversed, I would have apologized, asked to have it sent for troubleshooting and repair (if required) and I would cover the repair costs.     

I sent the radio  off for repair, prepaid $200 plus shipping ($30)  and got the radio back within a week, with a write up that showed and documented the radio had been damaged previously and some repairs had been attempted but not completed.  When I forwarded the invoice to him with all the concise documentation, I still received a basic “what do you think I should do” type response.  Wow!    I told him in good conscience, whether I was aware of this issue or now, I would have paid for the repairs and shipping as a minimum had it been my radio.    Well, it has been a few weeks now, and you got it.  Nothing.  It doesn't take much time to rectify a situation or issue, but this is still unresolved.   Why do I expect someone to stand up to a mistake, ommission, etc.?
Why, because it is the right thing to do. 

I just don’t understand why this is such a difficult concept for some folks to grasp and understand.   That concerns me that some individuals act like, well, if I didn’t know about it, I should not be held responsible.   

When someone doesn’t stand up to the situation and take care of either the mistake, omission, etc. it really bothers me that folks don’t see themselves as having any responsibility or are unable to initiate action to rectify the situation for the other party. 

Well, the radio was repaired and paid for by me, and if he ever wakes up to reality, perhaps he will reimburse me and I can update my post or delete it.  Doubtful that will happen. 

In one situation an individual wasn’t honest or truthful, was deceptive.  The other situation, the individual doesn’t grasp the responsibility of the issue.   I have never had to think about what the right thing would be,  to return overage in a reimbursement at a store, to give the vending machine operator left behind change, to pay for something that was my mistake, etc.  Maybe it was my parents, but it comes easy for me.  For others…well, I don’t know.  (Scratch the head at this point).
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K3GM
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« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2014, 06:58:36 AM »

My late dad, a Navy Captain taught me what he referred to as "The Code".  I in turn taught it to my son while raising him.  Three simple character traits that are seem to be so difficult to learn and missing so much from today's society; Honor, Integrity, and Accountability.  These three traits have nothing to do with what religion you may be, but rather the man that you are.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2014, 07:12:18 AM by K3GM » Logged
W7ARX
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« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2014, 07:15:32 AM »

That is so true.  I do, however, when someone throws the word "Christian" into their speech, to demonstrate that character or at least a better character trait then dishonesty and throwing out insults, etc.  But, I look at it this way, I have my faults, and so do others....

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W7ARX
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« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2014, 07:24:19 AM »

As an example, years ago, my wife and I was at a store and purchased a 2 wheeled dolly.  There were two kinds, one for $20 and one for $50.  We got one we thought was the $20 model.  After we purchased it, for the $20, we got to thinking, went back to the store and found out it was actually the $50 model.  I got the store manager and told him I owed him some money and he was flabbergasted about what to do, why were we doing this, etc.  I told him then, like I would now.  It is the right thing to do, the check out girl made a mistake.  We gave him the difference, he didn't seem to know what to do, not my problem, but we walked out with clear consciences that we "did the right thing".  What others do, is up to them.

Honesty should always win out. 
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K1CJS
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« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2014, 07:36:15 AM »

These days, all too often--it's the 'almighty dollar' that most are concerned with, not the 'Almighty God.'  And, as you found out, those people purporting to be "Christian" often speak as such, but hide behind the 'what should I do' offering to the other party--and do nothing. Live and learn.

I've offered a few radio for sale through the years.  The method I follow is simple.  I state all the shortcomings of the radio that I know of to whomever inquires--but sell the radio "as is" with the warning that once the purchaser gets it and uses it, whatever problems come up are their responsibility, not mine. 

One purchaser once tried to come back at me complaining that one of those radios wasn't working two weeks after they bought it.  I asked one question and made one statement to him.  The statement was that the radio worked on that mode when I sold it.  The question was "How can I know you didn't do something with the radio it in the two weeks you had it that caused this problem?" 

I never heard from him about the problem again, and yes, we still do come across each other on the bands occasionally, and still are friendly.  Mind you, I realize that could have gone the other way.  73.
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K8AXW
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« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2014, 08:17:16 AM »

GM: The traits your dad taught you and you taught you kids are based upon Christian principals.

My wife and I encounter situations, as recent as yesterday, and react or take care of the situation as BKR.  We simply can't rest until "it's made right"

I sold a Mirage amp on eBay one time that I thought was fine.  However the buyer gave me a blast that the "pre-amp wasn't working."  I offered his money back and to return it.  He refused and continued to disparage me. I TOLD him to send the damn thing back and would even pay the return postage.  He preferred to continue his berating and it was never resolved.

BKR, a lesson you need to learn is that we are living in a different world than we did growing up.  I'm sorry to say, "I don't trust anyone."  This discussion has been cussed and discussed here on eHam in reference to the use of PayPal. 

At one time, a ham's word was as good as a handshake was to us in the "olden days."  No more.  It took me quite a while to get over that experience with the Mirage amp.  I suggest you try to put this behind you, continue to be honest but trust no one.
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W7ARX
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« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2014, 08:34:18 AM »

Unfortunately, I think you are very correct.  A "man's" word means little to many folks out there and the truly honest and ethical folks are labeled as militants, nuts, etc.  I stand by my values, whether the world goes to hell in a hand basket.  At least I can sleep at nite.

Prehaps one of the reasons I love to watch re-runs of The Andy Griffith Show....lots of great values in there, albeit, not in the real world but I bet when that series was made, many of those values held true...

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K8AXW
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« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2014, 08:47:53 AM »

BKR: I grew up in an "Andy Griffith" town.  Everyone watched over everyone else's kids and gave 'em hell when they needed it.  We watched each other's houses although at that time you could leave your house unlocked 24/7.

As I said, "We're living in a different world now."
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N6AJR
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« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2014, 09:26:55 AM »

I try to do the "right thing" in all my life activities.  My daughter ( Adult) , she gets it, and now we are working on the grandson.

 I remember one case on ebay,  when I sent a guy a dual cross needle swr meter. It was fine when I mailed it.  When he got it one of the needles did not work.  I sent him $50 on paypal and told him to send it to the manufacture for repair.

He did and it was one of the little nylon screws that hold the pivot point of the needle in.  The charged him 33 bucks, so the gentleman sent me back the $17 change.

  So there ya go, two gentle men who have honor and a heart that is true.  My name and reputation means far more to me than mere money.  

I do sleep well at night, as this is they way I like to operate no matter what the situation.
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K3GM
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« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2014, 09:57:50 AM »

Unfortunately, I think you are very correct.  A "man's" word means little to many folks out there and the truly honest and ethical folks are labeled as militants, nuts, etc......
How true....  If I say to someone, "I give you my word.... and my word is good.", they look at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears...!
« Last Edit: July 17, 2014, 10:42:08 AM by K3GM » Logged
KM4AH
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« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2014, 12:34:49 PM »

If it is great after  a week that is the end of the story. If they want a warranty, buy a new radio.

And, to be honest, somebody who starts out how good a Christian they are throws a flag with me right off. I won't deal with them. Not , because they are a Christian, but because it is the oldest trick in the book when somebody is getting ready to stick you.
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K8AXW
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« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2014, 09:12:17 PM »

AH:  Amen to that! 
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W7ARX
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« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2014, 03:19:02 AM »

Yeah, like that is suppose to make you feel totally comfortable about dealing with them...too many individuals and companies throw that label out there and aren't any better then the rest of the crowd.  I know the individual in the second situation I encountered, won't be manning up and paying what is the right thing to do, certainly won't be holding my breath either.  To me, neither had what I consider true integrity, an ingredient missing in lots of folks today...sadly.
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W7ARX
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« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2014, 08:56:29 AM »

Neither is a desireable situatioon to be put in, one that purposely practices deceipt with you or another that play innocent and stalls, makes excuses, promises and then never fulfills them.  For me, it is easy to go and implement the correct action, as it takes little to no time and is something easy to accomplish and keep things even.  To operate like indicated here, takes more time, more thinking then is required to avoid doing the right thing.  I am glad I have values instilled in me that are much higher then that....
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W7ARX
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« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2014, 08:47:46 PM »

Yeah, that reimbursement will be in the mail in a couple of days...LMFAO....

Never see those funds...

Honesty is really tough for some folks..
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