The answer is easy. Don't buy. Find a town/county that is HAM friendly and explore buying there.
A friend in our club has a tower in a HOA restricted community. He got a variance. How? The house he bought belonged to the local bank. His offer was contingent on his being able to erect a HAM tower. The bank got the variance for him. Then he bought the house.
Every time I read threads like these I end up very grateful that I live where I do. Our little suburb is very ham radio friendly. Mainly because we had a well liked fire chief many years ago who was an avid ham, and he made sure that city hall was well and properly educated about ham radio. Hence we have no regulations on amateur radio antennas and support structures. And since the housing stock around here predates HOAs, that problem doesn't exist here either.
But about the person who got a variance above?
Banks do not like to foreclose on properties. And they really do not like holding foreclosed properties for any appreciable period of time, as that causes their credit quality rating to drop when audited by the state banking regulators. That can cause big time management and regulatory headaches for them.
The tactic of buying a bank foreclosure, contingent on obtaining an HOA variance is simply brilliant! If anyone can twist the arm of an HOA, it would be a bank. Because money does indeed talk.