Mark,
As a resident in three HOA communities in the last 28 years (all with CC&R antenna restrictions), it's really difficult to give advice on what to do. Every HOA is different in their thinking and propensity to allow antennas. It's usually a matter of aesthetics, the visual impact of your antenna to the rest of the community. A 43' vertical is quite visible, especially if your house is one-story, and/or you have homes close to you on each side and the rear of your house. You also have to understand that if they allow you to erect that antenna, they'll have to allow other hams in the community to erect something similar as well. These are things you'll come up against in your presentation, even if they allow you to make a presentation in the first place. Do the CC&R's state something like..."no antennas allowed, unless approved by the Architectural Committee"? I doubt if "emergency preparedness" to benefit the community would be a factor these days.
Something else to consider...how effective will that vertical be so close to the corner of your house? Where will you run the necessary radials, and RFI problems to your house and shack?
Personally, I've always gone by "It's sometimes better to ask for forgiveness than permission", and have gotten by with totally stealth antennas that no one can see. Dipoles in the attic (not good these days with all the RFI hash generating electronics in the house), and a more effective ground-mounted screwdriver with radials behind my house. For me, a 43' vertical is out of the question. If you do ask for permission and get denied, you've alerted them that you're a ham, and they *might* be on the lookout for antennas on your property.
HOA's and antenna permission is a slippery slope, and only you can determine which way you want to proceed. I don't mean to be a downer, just relating my experiences and what you might be up against. Good luck, and hope things work out.
73, Bob K7JQ