What is the best practice relay spec difference between QSK (relays operating often) and FT8 (heavier average)?
You want fast for qsk, which is any GH-1, RJ1A, HC-1. Typ they are 2-3 msecs. When sped up, they are all 1 msec or less.
All 3 of those relays are rated for 7 amps CCS @ 32 mhz. (2450 watts CCS). FT-8 won't blow em up. I designed a 2 x GS35B 6M amp for a fellow. He used 3 x new gigavac GH-1's. Input, output + cutoff bias. Handles 5 kw on 50.125 mgz to this day..and was built > 10 yrs ago. Runs like a top.
What will trash relays is high swr, like no load, no ant, wrong ant, shorted ant, etc. Or an auto tuner trying to 'tune'.
This is why I use external high swr protection (which open off the TX inhibit lead in the xcvr) and also the adjustable spark gap across the vac load cap or in the case of a SS amp, right at the output.
In the case of a tube amp, and an adjustable spark gap across the load cap ( air varaiable of vac cap) it will protect the load cap and the vac output relay. I also put a 2nd adjustable spark gap across the tune cap...which also protects the tune cap and the band switch.