Honestly, PayPal will work with you, as a seller, if you get scammed by a buyer. They have seller protection, too. In order to qualify for it, you need to have tracking with your package, and signature confirmation. You should also insure the item. If the buyer tries to pull any fast ones on you, you can go to PayPal with the signature confirmation and tracking number and they will back you up against a scammer.
As far as Ebay goes, as a seller I'll open an unpaid item case after 3 business days, if an item is unpaid. You can always close those without incident later on. As a buyer, I'll give the seller 1 week to ship my item, he/she then gets an email from me and then I wait another 3 business days and then I'll open a complaint. You can always close the complaints later, when the transaction is over. I'd never wait 30 days to open a case, that's silly. It's best to open them early and close them after the issue is resolved, no matter what.
As a Ham, I will never buy from another ham outside of PayPal, nor would I sell an item outside of PayPal, unless I know you. PayPal has it's flaws, but if you do your homework on the seller/buyer (get their callsign, make sure they have their call in the photos of their gear, etc), you'll be fine MOST OF THE TIME. There are always exceptions to the rule, but usually the transactions work out well in the end.
If a buyer/seller has an issue with the fees for PayPal, I'd rather tack them onto the sale of the item, rather than suffer a loss later on.